Manifest G

by Gina Maria Manchego

There’s nothing but dark memories.

I knew from the age of three that my mother didn’t love me.

I was merely a manipulation of what she wanted those around her to see.

I realized at 5, my dad didn’t love me either.

When I asked for a hug from him, he said I was a bother.

I grew up thinking that’s how fathers treated daughters.

By my teens I knew I was unworthy, so I acted accordingly.

There was always a price.
No one cared unconditionally.

This began the knowledge that would steer the course.

I couldn’t reach set levels of perfection.

Then living with remorse,

about what I was lacking.

While the bricks of self loathing kept stacking and stacking.

Until I built a house of horrors and misery.

Gave and gave to a husband whose mistress was infidelity.

He spent the years we were together recycling many women, constantly.

There was no reprieve.

So, I stayed inside my hate house.
Locked in, there was only one key.

That belonged to me.

But now what?

Do I live the rest of my life in loneliness and depravity?

Accept the undeserving narrative placed upon my spirit when I was just a baby?

Or do I deconstruct those bricks of conformity?

Unlearn.
Live free.

It’s the power of knowing, you see.

That I’ve been worthy of goodness, despite what most thought of me.

My next life chapters will state this decree:

I am self love incarnate, abundance, respect and blessings.

This is the work of courage and alchemy.

Sincerely,
Manifest G-