Forsaken by God by Terveen Gill

What do you call a man who has seen the turn of two centuries?


I’d say CURSED!

Forsaken by God.

Left behind to confront boredom, encounter misery, suffer the pathetic complexities of a stagnant life.

My name is Veda Paul and I’m 117 years old.

You may snigger and call me senile, or an attention monger, but at my age I don’t care enough to differ. The proof is ingrained in my bones, engraved upon my skin, sitting in my milky eyes that view the world in a perpetual shade of grey.

A man shows off to those who he knows, and everyone I know have long settled in their graves. Family, friends, enemies, anyone who knew me for the man I used to be – peaceful and content.

Age has ravaged my body, its wreckage stripped down to quivering splinters. But that’s not the problem. It’s my mind that bothers me, still as fresh as a spring blooming daisy. I think too much and have forgotten nothing.

What good is a young, vibrant mind to an old fossil like me?

It’s a jarring contrast that leaves me torn. My mind says, ‘Jump up!’, my body says, ‘Leave me be!’

I pray like a monk now, demanding release from this prison. Each plea shines like a diamond in my mind, abruptly losing its luster on the brink of my lips. That is the price of living beyond one’s time.

If God won’t listen, then I’ll take command of my own destiny.

The rat poison sits in the cupboard below the kitchen sink. It takes my rusted limbs forever to reach it. My unreliable hands shake, and the slippery bottle escapes my grip.

It shatters.

My ancient eyes barely see the broken pieces.

My overactive mind screams for its lost freedom.

30 comentarios sobre “Forsaken by God by Terveen Gill

  1. Reminds me of «the forever war». A soldier travel at high speeds through space and relativistic effects make him age much slower than those back on Earth. When he comes back everyone he knew is dead and society has progressed recognition. He has become an oddball, a relic from an ancient time. He decides to return to space to fight the forever war for a thousand years.

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    1. Now that’s the saddest situation. I guess living forever is something that may sound appealing but actually sticking around for too long eventually makes an individual a misfit. Familiarity and identifying with those whom we consider similar is one of the greatest comforts of living. Thank you so much, Thomas, for your wonderful comment. 🙂

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  2. I’m not even fifty and sometimes feel like I’m on the wrong timeline. You did great tapping into the mindset. When you’ve outlived all who mattered to you, what does it take to inspire you to continue living?? Great writing as always Terveen.

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  3. I already feel like this in regards to my body some days. I too, have lost so much and I am still very much aware of my body. I can’t imagine living that long and wouldn’t want too. I can’t imagine still being here if everyone I loved was somewhere else. This man feels forsaken and abandoned by God.
    I agree with Geoff rat poison would be an awful way to go indeed. Great piece Terveen. I can see the old man sitting there with his contemplations and his feeling abandoned by God, so clearly. Sending big hugs ❤️

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    1. Thank you so much, Joni. Your words express the feeling of this story so perfectly. It’s better to have quality over quantity no matter what. Too much age can never be a good thing. Hope you’re well and writing your heart out. 😊

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  4. That’s so fitting. Overactive mind, anxiety, unable to take action and complete the task. Many people have this. Further, I think the Universe always knows what’s next, we don’t, and we like to pretend we do, yet only God knows. Excellent write, Terveen. 😊

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  5. Moving… and scary. A position I dread to be in in my own old age. A thought-provoking story, bringing to memory one of my favourite authors, Khushwant Singh. Because of how amazingly spirited he was till his last. Even he’d’ve wanted to call it quits at 117 though.

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