youth is a disease by Bogdan Dragos

they told him that the
hospital's windows
were barred not
to prevent them from
going out,
but to prevent others
from getting in

He had to
believe them. Had to
believe everything he
was told here
and do as he
was told

and he was so
far successful

It was a peaceful
life

but as he kept living
it
he realized that,
in itself,
that was the problem

There was another patient
in the room with him
who constantly woke
up crying
and begging for
forgiveness

he made the crying sounds
of a dog in great pain

and when the staff
came to calm him
and inject him with
another dose
of drugs
he cowered into a corner
and began whispering
to himself about the
days of youth
when he hit a dog in the
head with the edge of
a shovel, just as it
was feeding its puppies with
milk. The puppies
had no better fate,
but way worse
as their deaths were slow
and, to him, very funny

but their cries and
those of their mother never
left his ears
since

What he did was fun
at the time, but
it became less so
the older he got

"Youth is a disease," he
said these days. "A curse. You
have too much
power
and too little
wisdom to use it. So you
always misuse it.
I'm going to hell to pay
for my fun times... I just
wish it would
happen sooner! But who
am I to dare wish
for anything?"

He watched this man
daily
and wondered at the
torment surrounding him
and
couldn't help but feel
envy

He was envious of
the man who
yelped like a dog
in the middle of the
night

"Because," he said, "hellish
as it was. His life
contained something.
Mine on the other hand,
was... is... completely
empty. Nothing of
any worth
happened from the day
I was born
to today. Not a thing. Like I
was not even
alive. Just a ghost drifting
among people.
Envying them forever. Just
like I envy this
poor fucker now.
Yes... before the heavens and
hells alike I stand now
and dare
declare that my life is
infinitely worse than his.
Perhaps... I should
kill him.
It's never too late to kill
somebody
in order to make your life
more eventful.
I will not die like an insignificant
dog hit in the
head with the edge of
a shovel for
someone's amusement. I will
die as a human who
murdered a human who
murdered the poor dog.
The gods will be confused,
won't they?
I'm both a hero and
a murderer. Hahahahahahahaaaaa!"

He would've done
it
if the staff didn't hear
his spoken thoughts
and come quick to
stab him in the back with
the syringe, making him
calm and sleepy
again