quitting motivation by Bogdan Dragos

He placed the camera on
the tripod
and the tripod on
his desk

and stood about
four minutes in
silence just
staring at it
after pressing record

unblinking

"It happened the
other night," he finally said.
"After about
four or
three hours
of random executions
with no context
and deadly accidents
and maiming and
animal cruelty
and animal attacks
on humans
and basic degeneracy,
I stumbled upon her
video.
I swear to God and back,
she was the
prettiest girl
I ever saw. With a face
so clean and so
symmetrical you'd think it was
computer generated.
Oh, but she was
real, alright. She was
so real.
And what she did
was real.
She motivated me.
You know how sometimes you
don't feel like
getting out of bed
or doing anything really
and then someone shows
you some guy without
hands or legs or
both
who does that thing? It's
supposed to motivate you,
to move you
towards asking,
well if that guy could do
it, what's stopping me, right?
Yeah, I hate that
type of
motivation.
But last night... it worked for
me. Only, it worked
differently.
The cutest girl I ever saw
in my life
filmed her suicide. And then
I thought,
if someone as cute
and young and perfect
as her can do it,
what's stopping me, right?
I don't know why she
did it, cuz she spoke
some south-Asian language
and there were no
subtitles.
But she did it.
Meanwhile here I am, just
thinking about it
and planning it for
years and years
and still no results.
Eh, all that's gonna change
tonight. Because today
I'm buying a gun.
This time I'll pass the
psychological test to get
one. I've prepared."

He turned off the
camera and
got dressed

got his wallet

and
went out

When he returned in
a few hours
the gun wasn't with him

He failed the
psychological test again

So he just sat down
before the
computer
and searched for more
motivational videos
and stories

It'll be another
long night

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