How much Pretense can a Person Afford? by Terveen Gill

How much is too much? When should you own up and prepare to fall apart?

Is being strong equivalent to being stupid when your brain and heart are in a bloody mess?

What about those around you? The ones you look at and think – If only God had cut them slack, given them the ability to fight their own battles.

Yet there you stand ready to attack, vanquish their demons while your own devour you.

And with each strike you lose a piece of yourself and those that you defend still crumble and crack. How

You’re losing the ground beneath your feet, yet instead of fleeing, you sink deeper into a pit of bleakness.

Only cowards turn and run.

Victory eludes you and you begin to realize that you’re not exactly sure what the fight is all about.

That’s when it hits you.

Not every problem has a plausible solution.

Treatment and cure can be opposite banks of a river. Never will they meet to converge. The half-baked lies you often tell yourself eat away at you like sickness.

The three words you throw around at leisure – All is well – point their fingers and wag their tongues at you.

Is everything alright? Can you say it without blinking an eye or shedding a tear?

Stop the nonsense! Step back and assess the damage!

You’re a fool if you can’t feel that hole in your soul. It won’t fill itself. Give it the nourishment it needs. Allow the truth to caress it.

Optimism has boundaries for a reason. Too much of it can turn you into a zombie with neutral ambition.

You pretend not to feel the weight of your hurt.

You pretend not to see your dreams biting the dust.

You pretend not to accept that you may never be okay.

For once jolt yourself out of the numbness and allow yourself to feel real emotions.

Cry! Scream! Curse!

Boldly ask yourself – how much pretense can a person afford?

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26 comentarios sobre “How much Pretense can a Person Afford? by Terveen Gill

  1. This is wonderful, Terveen. It reminds me that we should always continue to inquire within, to struggle with what’s left unresolved, and to simultaneously love ourselves for who we were, are, and are becoming. I needed this one tonight. Thank you, my friend. 😊

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    1. Thanks so much, Jeff. There’s comfort in accepting and bravery in declaring that not being hundred percent is also a peaceful way of living. Forever denying and projecting superhuman qualities can lead to delusional perceptions. Be in the now and leave the whys and hows to find their own way. I hope you’re well and wish that you always have a blissful tomorrow. 🙂

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  2. This is so true. When you stuff your feelings for long enough eventually you can actually forget what or who you were. I have seen this with my own eyes. I really liked these lines:

    “ Treatment and cure can be opposite banks of a river. Never will they meet to converge. The half-baked lies you often tell yourself eat away at you like sickness.”

    Great piece of truth Terveen. 🦋

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  3. Well, most times one can’t afford to fall apart. Who’ll pick up the pieces?
    I don’t really believe in the all is well cr.. I mean sh..tuff. 😉
    Again most times if you don’t fight for yourself, who else will?
    Now, when you’ve done all you could? Still ain’t workin’?
    Turn around and run…
    (More seriously Henri Laborit was a French psychologist, probably more more on the Skinner «behavioural» side. Worked a lot on rats. He wrote a book Called in French «L’éloge de la fuite». Something like «The celebration of running away». Basically he said that «too much is too much», stop fighting, just run away… I don’t know whether there is an English version.

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  4. I would definitely like to read an English version. I trust that there is a lot of truth in this theory. Sometimes, running away is the best we can do, and I don’t think that strength should equate to stupidity. There’s wisdom in knowing and accepting when enough is enough. Thank you so much for sharing your honest views on this. 🙂

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