Trouble Will Always Remain by Terveen Gill

A girl is troubled. She has always been. She will always be.

For every reason that can be proven.

The trouble is inside her and all around her.

She appears to be nominated for the title ‘Troubled for Life’ by God Almighty.

Her parents’ troubled marriage, her own troublesome health, her younger brother’s compulsion of staying in trouble, the troubling fear of never being free of trouble.

It is trouble after trouble after trouble and still there’s much more trouble to bear and dread.

She wakes each morning, inhales and exhales her trouble, shakes off the accumulated trouble settled upon her chest and shoulders, swats at the trouble circling her head, yet the atmosphere heavy with trouble is inescapable.

Changing faces, difficult places, twisting words, damaging actions, exaggerated reactions, dismal objects, contaminated food, polluted water.

Trouble is everywhere for troubled eyes to cherish.

She has never known anything but the discomfort of trouble, and this knowing is the familiar solace that keeps her going.

Awareness and understanding of any other kind could only be detrimental.

For when one has never had a taste of peace and goodness, appreciating their qualities is like drinking unsweetened tea.

Too plain to notice the benefits, too bland to acquire the taste.

So when she notices a gradual decrease in her suffering, instead of feeling relieved and joyous, she worries of losing her loyal companion – trouble.

Her grasp upon it is loosening, and it slips like silk through her unsuspecting fingers. She’s unsure whether she can live without its intrusion.

How would her life be if it isn’t sad and frustrated?

She’s now worried to discover a side that is completely different.

She decides right away that she won’t easily trust it.

Trouble is and will always remain the safer choice in life.

However, troubling that truly may be.

30 comentarios sobre “Trouble Will Always Remain by Terveen Gill

  1. It is said a traumatized victim of narcissism will always make the choice to make himself or herself suffer since he or she doesn’t know know that normal life really exists. These victims will choose the wrong partner one after another and the bad cycles run forever in their life.

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    1. It is a sad chain of suffering where there seems to be no head or tail of the start or end. When one knows no better, then often the actions and reactions are cyclic, and a troubling existence is categorized as the only normal one knows of. It’s sorrowful…

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  2. This is a fantastic contemplation about multiple realities operating simultaneously, sometimes even within ourselves. I’ve been stuck inside of this kind of thinking before, and it is very hard to get out of it. Yet, who’s to say getting out of it is a solution, especially if we insert another concept in troubles place. Amazing write, Terveen. 😊

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    1. Thank you so much, Jeff. The depths of the human mind can be so perplexing. I agree with you. Who is to say that this is the only ‘right’ way to be. Often we label right and wrong according to our own personal experiences. Living is about acting, accepting, and repeating or changing. Your wise words come from a lot of learning. Take care and keep inspiring. 🙂

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  3. Stellar writing. So relatable . This is so true. People really grow attached to their suffering. It becomes like a companion that goes everywhere with them. And then they start to identify with it and it becomes their identity. Their whole being is wrapped up in their suffering. And if something threatens it they feel like part of themselves is dying. It’s so hard to get better when you’re in that state. But who knows, maybe a few good Adam Sandler flicks is the perfect prescription.

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  4. Thanks for always adding humor to your words and making them appear lighter. Your awareness and knowledge comes from such a deep level that there’s no denying its honesty and sanctity. Maybe suffering is the new armor that despite being heavy to wear is always looking for a worthy challenge. Some gaining strength from it while others spiraling downwards. It’s such a fragile state to be in. Take care, Tony, and waiting for your writing. 🙂

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  5. I know people just like this. In fact, I’ve found it all too easy to slip into this mindset myself. It’s so true that dysfunctional childhoods can cause this syndrome. It’s frustrating to find that letting go of trouble or fear or past trauma is nigh impossible. Who are we if we remove the core of our beings? That core that was tainted by childhood trauma? It’s a terrifying thought that our whole identity revolves around dysfunction. It’s a case of «the devil we know vs. the devil we don’t.» Fear keeps us attached to our dysfunctional core beliefs about ourselves and life in general, and it’s a Herculean feat to even consider changing direction and trying something different because different = unknown = scary. As serious as this stuff is, you managed to put your trademark comedic spin on it and turn it into a highly entertaining tale. I sincerely hope Ella decides someday that obsessing about trouble isn’t worth the trouble anymore. It’s always a delight to read your stories, Terveen. 🙂

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