It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s SuperWriter!

SuperWriter is here to save you readers from some dark, dismal, and inappropriate writing.

I know you’ve been suffering, and your cries for help have gone unanswered.

The kingdom of readers has been under attack since the ‘dawn of writing’ cast its first light. What started out as an initiative to entertain, inform, and educate gradually turned into a bombardment of thoughts, facts, insecurities, and presumptions.

Anyone who thought they were someone gathered their half-baked ideas, put their pens to paper, and let a torrent of words drench page after page after page. Writers wrote about love, writers wrote about war, writers wrote about love and war.

They exhausted themselves of emotions, and in turn began exhausting their readers.

Mystery, romance, horror, melodrama, comedy, folklore, poetry, thriller, fantasy are just some of the categories writers stashed their writings under. They then tempted naïve readers to lap up their words without a sigh, blink, or burp.

And this is just fiction or make-believe that I’m talking about!!

What about the writing that caters to the real world and real life issues?

Non-fiction anyone?

Biographies, history, philosophy, essays, articles, memoirs, reviews, encyclopedias, editorials, speeches constitute a major part of what has been and what is being written.

Writers have embarked upon a journey of enlightenment. NO…not self-enlightenment. Don’t you know that writers are born enlightened?

It’s the reader who’s ignorant, and deserving of a strong dose of enlightenment.

Writers know they can get away with average writing, and also the preaching, teaching, condemning, and chest pounding that is hidden discretely behind manicured letters and pampered words.

Writers are a dime a dozen…(not me though), but then readers are a dime a dozen too…(no comments).

But who will eventually turn the tables on whom?

If readers want to assert their authority, and prove that they aren’t pushovers, then they need to know the types of writers that they’re dealing with.

And yes, SuperWriter can help you with that!

Here hold my hand…wait…just hold on to a corner of my cape, I’m germaphobic…

Let me lead you through the types of writers that you need to beware of.

LOST WRITER

Okay…this is the writer who writes and writes and writes till he’s clueless of where he started, where he wandered off, and where he eventually ended. In the pursuit of telling and sharing, this oblivious writer wanders off into the sunset when he should have actually been riding towards the sunrise.

OVERCONFIDENT WRITER

Now this writer is the king or queen of the writing world. Their crowns sit perfect upon their pretty heads while they type away at their stories and articles. They know what they want to say, how they want to say it, and why they want to say it. All they don’t know is whether the reader even wants to read what they’re writing.

SCARED WRITER

This is the writer who should be avoided at all costs. Readers exercise extreme caution!! With doubt in his mind, and shivers running down his spine, this nervous wreck will write, erase, edit, write, and finally come up with an anxious mess of words that are actually begging for the reader’s mercy, while conveying nothing but doubt, confusion, and literary constipation.

GURU WRITER

These writers are out to solve all the problems readers could possibly have, and teach them all the wisdom in the world. They write about problems, they write about problem solving, and they write about how to feel when experiencing the problem. Their approach may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but they blow their trumpets and declare that the war of healing has begun.

CARELESS WRITER

What’s writing without a few mistakes? Some writers just won’t get their act together. They’ll always mess up when and where it’s possible. Spelling, grammar, logic, facts, description, something or the other will be incorrect, and these happy-go-lucky numbskulls don’t give a damn. Hey nobody’s perfect.

SMART WRITER

Readers…get ready to be intimidated, ignored, and treated as if you were a species who has only recently been discovered. The smart writer will write sense, the smart writer will be concise, but what the smart writer will not be is easygoing and nice. They know a lot, and write a lot about it, but they won’t cater to your intelligence level. If you can get their vibe then you’re lucky, otherwise you can just flip the pages, and pretend that you’re not dumber than you feel.

Hark! Is that a scream I here?

Well, a SuperWriter’s job is never done!

Before I ‘fly away’ on another mission to save another victim from the evils of writing, I’d like to leave you all with a small and simple thought.

Words will come, words will go, but a SuperWriter’s secret weapon is really none of your business. (OUCH!!)

So just keep on reading, keep on smiling, and keep on surviving!!