Call Me Sexy or What You Want

By Terveen Gill

You know that you want me.

Right from the time you heard what I had to say.

Let me recall your words.

Exciting.

Impressive.

Damn hot!

I would’ve articulated it much better but that’s what makes me more attractive than others.

Not a dull moment when I’m around. I’m the heart of every story and the twist that’ll make your head spin around.

You think I’m headed somewhere, then I turn to sweep you off your feet, your lingering gaze and half-open mouth screaming – Give me more, baby! Right here! Right now!

Is that heavy breathing and a thumping heart?

Yes! I’m too sexy for my own good.

Will someone tell this to the fool who I have little choice but to be with. She says I’m a nuisance, a fool, a hyperactive fellow with an ego bigger than a mountain.

How rude!

She’s lucky to have me. Without me, she would’ve been plain ordinary.

Seriously?! Who wants to be that way?

No offense to those who have no choice but that’s a sad existence.

Imagine the limitations. No scope for improvement.

Dullness inside them. Boredom around them.

No oomph! No sass! No I’m a badass!

She keeps me up all night and makes me do things I’ve sworn never to reveal.

When we’re both worn and exhausted, she inundates my senses with the cheapest booze.

I ask her why not the good stuff?

She retorts that the day I help her write a bestseller, she’ll pop open a bottle of bubbly. I switch off and leave her to brood by herself.

I’m a writer’s brain not a genie. The only drama I create is for the pages.