I’ve never seen you empty by Bogdan Dragos

the crystal glass
sat alone
and empty
on the window sill

She watched it
and studied
the imprint of her
lover’s lips
and fingertips on it

“Damn, I’ve never seen you
empty,” she said
to the glass. “How did we
get here?”

A good question,
she realized. It probably starts
from growing up with a mother
who got beat up
on the daily and took it all
with a kind of
furious pride. It probably
starts with
telling yourself that when you grow
up you will do all in
your power
to not
be like that
woman. You’ll be the exact opposite.
You won’t take no
shit from no man.
And you started your adulthood
exactly
like that. A bad bitch, as some
would put it. So why didn’t it
continue like that?
How come
when you met a fragile,
damaged man
instead of another tough guy, you not
only lowered your
guard
but you downright played
the mother for him? You became
the mother he
could also fuck. Crazy…
It’s like
the fiercer the woman,
the gentler her mother instincts are
when she no longer
perceives men as conquerors

“We’re both just fucked
up people,
aren’t we?” she said to the
glass. “You, an idiot riddled with health
problems
thanks to very poor choices,
and me, an even bigger idiot,
for making it
ever easier for you to live
like that.
What is it that keeps me in this
pathetic pseudo-relationship?
Shit, all I
know is that I know nothing
anymore. Humans aren’t beings
of logic and rationality, they’re
beings of emotion. That’s
your saying, though I
strongly doubt it’s
original. You just heard it
from someone. Just like the rest of
the ideas for your stupid
projects. What was the last
one? Oh yes, writing that
bestselling novel. Get the fuck outta
here. You hadn’t written the
first letter of the
first word, you liar.
And what the hell was the damn story
supposed to be about? Hmm… something
like a love story, you said, about
two broken people
coming together hoping to form
a whole
and discovering that
all they can create is further breaking.
Well, fuck you, you know what?
All the days and
nights spent with you are more than
enough qualification for me
to be the writer of that book. I might
not have your writing talent
but I’ve something infinitely
better, the ability to start things.
Watch me.”

She grabbed the glass from
the window sill
and threw it in the trash can
Then opened the cupboard above the sink
and took all the bottles
of liquor
and poured them one by one
into the sink. All
eleven of them

Then she went into the
bedroom
with a notebook and a pen
and locked
the door

That night
her lover didn’t come home

10 comentarios sobre “I’ve never seen you empty by Bogdan Dragos

  1. Tormenting…
    The belief that we’ll turn out better than so many and then realizing that we’re just a plain sheep among a huge flock. But then, realization can be detrimental or uplifting. I think internal monologue can be the best advice one can get. We are smarter than we think…or is that just a silly supposition? Your writing always stirs thoughts and emotions. Well done! 🙂

    Le gusta a 1 persona

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