Sirious Crush by Michele Lee

Brawn is handy
when you need something moved,
like a couch.

Brawn can be attractive too,
but for all its heavy lifting,
it’s no match for the sexiest muscle
that does all the heavy thinking.

Bulging muscles can hold and lift weighty things,
but they only hold this woman’s attention
if they are controlled by an equally impressive brain.

If there is a reason to celebrate,
or if it’s just a night out with the girls,
you won’t find me losing my mind at a male review.
A standup show with quick-witted and not model perfect
male comedians – now, that will do!

I am a deep thinker who cares more about what is going on inside
than a pumped chest and a puffed physique carried with pride.
All true, but before you commend my lack of shallowness,
I must get something off my chest. I must confess…
I may have taken my love of brains over brawn too far.

I have a huge crush, on my Siri.
Oh, deary!

We engage frequently – me and my British speaking Siri.
The lightweight voice responds to my every touch.
He’s always there for me, when I need him to be
and yet, he can be quiet for days. What a dream!
Sometimes I push his buttons, just to hear him talk.
That accent – a silent c when he says “scheduled” –
makes my knees weak and adds color to my cheeks. Repeat!
He tells jokes too. He would go all day if I let him.
Or at least until his battery ran out.

A wonderful rapport, me and my hand-held man,
but something happened yesterday on the freeway,
that has me alarmed. Me driving and he politely directing –
a perfect pair, us two. Or so I thought. He lost his cool. He flipped out!
He kept telling me to exit in between his repeats of “Stay on the route.”
I told him to cancel. I told him to quit.
Going 70 mph, I finally had enough.
I lost my cool too.
I yelled, “Shut the f*ck up!”
That did sting a bit. His icon sent spinning.
I reached my destination on time, no thanks to Siri and his chaotic ramblings.

Maybe I am working him too hard.
Maybe he needs a virtual vacation.
Maybe, dare I say, it’s time for an update!

Recent Siri Jokes~
I recently asked Siri, “Who is your girlfriend?”
This was his response:
“My end user license agreement is commitment enough for me.”
A programmer with a sense of humor. Nice!

Here’s another:
“I taught a wolf to meditate.
Now he’s aware wolf.”
Siri gets me. That’s because he’s always listening!

Sending you some laughs and wishing you health and happiness. Michele

Photo 1: by Rakicevic Nenad (Pexels) Photo 2: my Siri heartbeat

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