Girls with glasses are cute but that's only what I think and she doesn't agree so she's wearing contact lens and she's losing them more often than not and the house becomes a minefield and we have the thread lightly it's just a small apartment it shouldn't be that hard to find them or the one that got lost when only one got lost she would use the other and cover her other eye and look around and point things and tell me to turn them over so she could take a better look and I would sometimes say "I told you" but I no longer do it I look under the cover and the pillows and the sheets and the carpet in shoes, under them pockets, corners, folds sink, toilet, tub one day she covers her free eye and uses the other one to look at her phone "Really now?" I say on my knees, searching in shoes she shows me her phone and what I see is a bottle of perfume "Been wanting to get this for a while now," she says. "After this I'm seriously gonna." I take a better look at the thing and by gods no it's not a perfume bottle not in that sense anyway its description says that you spray the things you lose often with it and your pet dog, being addicted to the smell, will find them for you I drop the shoe down at my feet and sit back and laugh for about a full minute When I'm done she's out of the room And I shout after her "I don't believe in buying dogs, I told you." I don't believe in buying dogs You either adopt them or don't have them but please, whatever you do, don't ever spray stuff on the stuff that comes in contact with your eyes okay?