I do not go into details when thoughts walk in my mind. They scream when they arrive, extinguishing the fragility of my flesh. The air trembles, collapsing my silence when I need it most. I’m alone in my room. The night envelops me like a thin blanket woven with moldy threads dialoguing with each other to annoy my sleep.
I can’t find how to separate reality from fantasy. Cold feet are enough to know that I am human.. But I see the red ants walking through my veins and the confusion returns.I want to spread my hands to rub my eyes. The fingers are tweezers that pull the exclamations out of my mouth.
I’m in airplane mode to capture what the walls are saying. Maybe he can know his plans to keep me from sleeping. Last chance to overcome insomnia. Unequal fight. Four against one. I can’t find a crack in the wall to escape their inquisitive faces. I let myself fall onto the smoking bed with dilated pupils waiting for time to pass.
I clear the window. The sky looks yellow. Sunflowers have won the battle by imposing their color. The rain is pollen drops leaving a scented melody falling on my expressionless face. The blue fish returned to the tank pushed by gray clouds. The color changes don’t change my mood at all.
Time to give up. Recount the hours of the clock that has a hammer to announce them. The eardrums have become used to the sound. Amid all the uproar, my flesh cries out for a silence to space. The nuances of my reason, do not find the right words to continue writing. Until I am the owner of my insomnia, the romantic verses will be kept in the drawer.
Today I only have mutilated phrases
Manuel Calderón
Gobblers & Masticadores 